The holidays went fast, and I held on to them as tightly as I could, but yesterday’s normalcy and mundane qualities have awoken me to the reality of the new year. My time is fleeting at the moment- ungraspable; and unfortunately my blog has been the loser in my fight with time.
However, the creativity is quietly seething underneath it’s source. Planning and edging it’s way out in ways unforeseen. I’ve been writing on my “breaks” at work (self-imposed moments of “me time” that I spread throughout the day that I used to spend on my social media sites). Now, I am pouring out a very loosely based auto-biography, which would probably get me in trouble because it’s not an auto-biography at all… in fact major things that happen in the story have never happened to me… in fact I’m not the only character we are submerged into, and I would never presume to know what my husband is thinking… never. But words are coming out in trickling streams. Mornings I wake up trying to remember a sliver of the idea that I had before slumber took over, a moment to recollect and re-collect into a readable story.
I’ve received my first feedback on my (looking more and more like) film script. So happy with my very smart friends who have helped guide this bumbling beast of an animal back into a workable cage. This cycle of editing has been a little more fun as I’ve allowed myself to stop counting pages as if they were clocks and just really tell the story I want to tell and worry about cutting at a later cycle of editing. I find myself thinking about this story and “what I want to say” on a daily basis, usually in my car, as I listen to NPR and find moments where my dystopian fantasy is seemingly coming to life.
Speaking of dystopian. I had a day or two of flights of fancy with one of the most amazing people in my life (You must read her blog: The Windsock. It is beautiful and touching and insightful and full of the mom-wisdom and funky ozarkian you would expect from a woman who is living her dream. I’m in awe of her almost on a daily basis!). She posted a photo of her and her son and I made a tipsy comment and it was a snow flake that began the avalanche. We messaged back and forth for two days, into the wee mornings (where I assume her son was latched and she was passing time- or at least I imagine it this way) taking this basic idea and making a story, a post-apocalyptic landscape and we played. Played! Back and forth passing the ball. Taking an idea and following our stream of consciousness over a ledge. Not minding when someone took a plunge and just enjoying the ride together. I see a beginning to a graphic novel taking shape- and it was the most creative fun I’ve had in sometime.
Now, the well is boiling over. The calendar of “wait” has caught up with the calendar of “NOW!” and I am standing just outside of my sound design precipice. Lists have been made, songs have been winnowed out and new songs have pushed their way into my psyche. I am preparing for a sound-cano to erupt and am excited to be so actively creative again.
Have no fear my best enemites! You will be included in the ride as soon as I get the time to reach out and touch you all again soon!